The nucleus of my mortification fertilized by my failure on stage
was that I was not using my intended routines. crude words would splat on the room's atmosphere like a fly on a windshield. Crude
was a direct contradiction to my desired image of being clever and witty.
Clever,smart segments were born from my brain and then I do not know why.. perhaps because of nervousness.. forceful wording would
replace my planned subtle words.
I was scared. the more time I spent on stage, nervousness is supposed to lessen. I was afraid I would not be able to fail on my own terms because the words being carried by the mic did not truly represent me. To add to the horror, I am embarrassed that certain
friends viewed it and that they will not see my improved version.
Well I guess that is the way the cookie crumbles, hopefully they will return to be in the audience.
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