closets

I revealed a secret(about myself) to my core group of my friends. The news that was expected to submerge me in embarrassment submerged me in complete acceptance.

Emerging from the door-frame of my emotional closet gave me a sense of peace,love and light that I had never experienced in friendship. The quality of my friendships are certainly more real and rich.

We all have emotional closets, walk-in to tiny-tiny. we all deserve to experience the peace,love and light that comes when crossing a threshold to your new life.

self-cheerlead

I was not happy with a past comedic performance and told friends that were not in attendance my bad review. smarter for me to be my own cheerleader,plant positive messages and watch them bloom.

friendship wrapping

I am guilty of being swept up in a person's wrapping, an easy laugh, complimentary, an over-all light disposition. Pulling away the wrapping to look inside the box can lead to the discovery that the gift of the friendship does not always match the beauty of the wrapping.

perspective

A beloved reported to me that he was getting,for a week, multiple letters from me a day. I immediately went to my "oh jeez" place... oh jeez, overload, oh jeez, not practicing less is more, oh jeez, showing signs of mental illness.

Clearing away the brush of negative thoughts, I realized my letters are acts of love and postal well wishes.. there is certainly nothing wrong with that

perspective is vital in how a life is charted

fine

Some mornings, I must decide that I will feel fine. The decision is a route to looking
to the better parts of my day and more accepting of the bad parts of my day. My mood frequently progresses from listless to a place of well-being as my day progresses into night.

fixer-not!

I must listen to my friends and not try to prevent their sadness,loneliness or any natural negative human feeling.While telling my friends that I am sorry for their hurt is a frequent self-expression, I do slip into a fixer mode and try to block their true feelings. Really,
ultimately, I am blocking their authenticity and that is not going to fix anything.

set-up

I set myself up for failure in certain areas of my life. I do not not only rob myself of a positive result, I also rob myself of knowing that I did all I could do to garner a positive result. Failing after doing your best can elicit a peace of mind. Failing when not doing your
best may always leave wonder.

life signs

Standing in my present, examining my past for signs of travel to my best and worst emotional destinations. Self-awareness is crucial in forming your best future.. my daily behavior creates my foundation for my future behavior

life is a daily process

cab driver

Slipping into a dark backseat while requesting the destination to the cabdriver. He reported that he had a photographic memory and I had ridden in his cab on five separate
occasions.. I could tell he wanted to photo shop me a little

changes

Conflicting between my former self and current self. Realizing that change happens, like a dog sheds it's fur, in increments has erased my conflict.Displaying behavior of desired new self will enable a smoother,quicker implementation of self-change.

victories

I would cultivate,during decades of yesteryear,my memory to keep track of other's victories. It was very effective in elevating their moods. I no longer want to track other's victories..only mine

emotional transfer

Looking like Kathy Bates in "misery",the bus driver told me I looked good. huh? what? I asked in comparison to the super duper homeless
people that ride his bus? It occurred to me I was debating a compliment with a bus driver..perhaps a needed reality check for the status of my self esteem?

concentrated wish

Standing in the kitchen, I made an internal wish enclosed in complete concentration. "I want to be missed" was a wish that was released from my being and spirit of whole and I never returned to the emotional request. The quiet act garnered a fascinating ripple affect. Clients,friends and acquaintances have sought me out via phone,both snail and email. People that I have not heard from in years returned to my life to ask about my life. I just wonder

emotional V8

Hearing computer keyboard keys in the background of potential blind-date, slipping out of my mouth, "oh you can answer emails when you are on the phone". Oh jeez!, I just told him it is okay to divert his attention from me.

accidental racist

I am Rebecca S. and I have a confession to make: I am an accidental racist. Thinking I was telling the denny's (black) host that he was hansome, I awkwardly discovered that calling a person a "prince of darkness" is actually the same as calling a person satan. I quickly cancelled my order for fried chicken.

life's perfection

Submerged in the heartbreaks of life...Fearing not to find the right train to transport away from a one track mind. Discovery comes when engaged in daily life the happening of transportation. Moving on a moment of life's perfection.

lazy susan

Sharing a couch and dating stories with one of my band of brothers. Crinkled hope and his crinkled face served as the perfect background to the expression of his desire for a life partner. Wanting what he wanted for himself, I offered to be his flygirl and tell all the girls that it was his idea to put the swivel in the lazy susan.

frozen time

Purposely putting myself down to a particular friend, wanting him to tell me I was good when I said I was bad,instead, responded with frozen scooped out portions of time. Feeling empty where approval was scheduled. He released me of my behavior pattern by informing me that the motive of his silence was to discourage this specific form of communication. Silence can be golden

personal touch

A friend describes getting my notes as getting a touch of Rebecca via the US mail. I reunited with note-writing to lend support in a gentle way during friend's difficult periods. Resulting in an extraordinary return of love and appreciation. Touch your friends with a few written words and see the reaction you will get.

fear

Sitting in a dark club, nearly tearful with fear. Seeking the intrinsic chance of becoming more empowered by standing out from the crowd. Surrendering chance invokes more fear. Creating joy by facing fear, inner reaction more important then outer reaction. What fear can you face?

jewish mathlete

I met a woman friend for lunch. A type of woman that appears completely comfortable in her skin, sitting in a black cotton tank and beige
pants while clutching an Italian language textbook. She looked directly into my eyes and asked me about my summer plans. I responded
quickly, "oh just looking for the Jewish mathlete of my dreams"..without missing a beat she asked, "Does he have to be Jewish"?

mascara

The mothers of my friends direct me into hallways and whatever corners our mutual meeting place has to offer, taking a stance and tone that would indicate the potential imparting of the wisdom of Buddha. The words whispered to me are,instead, that I could be married if I would make a friend of mascara. Using a specific singular cosmetic could change the trajectory of my life, perhaps I should be grateful for such a simple solution.

who are your friends?

Having productive friends makes me more productive. Their consistent ability to move forward inspires me to search for ways I can be better and go after what I want. The questioning of my focus and timeline on my creation of milestones is the perfect engine to put me on track. going from laid back friends to highly functioning friends has been transformative. I am grateful everyday for them and their drive.