Avenues of Communication

An aquaintance stopped me to chat. He informed me that he thinks of my different collections of words and it makes him smile. GEE WHIZ! how dreamy to hear. Do you know what also would be dreamy? Pointing out the different ways the people,in our lives, have had positive effects on us. Let's create a glorious chain reaction though all types of avenues of communication.

About Sundays

I was talking deeply with a debonair gent at Starbucks. (where else,right?) When departing, he asked how I liked to spend my Sundays? I loved the simple humanity of the question.

Victory Bloomed

I had a nice set at a comedy club. Got back to my "ghetto pad"...was in the midst of cleaning it..when I walked by a mirror ..and looked at myself and responded to the reflection, "You are doing the best you can".. A personal victory bloomed

Goals

I do not love myself enough to walk away from certain people in my life. It is time to set the goal of expecting respect in return for mine...my new theme song may start to be Aretha Franklin's "Respect"

Being Released

I do not go away quietly. This has served me in the work place. This has not always served me in the social place. Continuing to seek people out when they have appeared to have released me. Sometimes, I fear I will not change.

Co-Worker

Listening to a narrow minded,negative co-worker complain teaches me how not to be.

Still Listening

Adhering to the negative evaluations of people that I,no longer, deem worthy of being in my life..means that eventhough they are not in my life..I am still listening to them.

Constant

I must not engage in a self-defeating reaction to other's behavior because I am the constant and the surrounding people are the variables.

Turning it Over

I broached the subject of the effects of a person's anger. He became angry and attacked me. A few days later, he informed me that his supervisor asked him about the effects of his anger in the work place. I wondered if it was an example of: turning it over and letting the universe address it.

Face Down

Seeing a man's head, face down, on a fast food chain's table almost instantly filled me with a lucky feeling. Perfecting the position that however I wanted to be..however I wanted my life to be.was within my reach.

Exchange of Variables

I decided to reject my nightly cigarette. No cigarettes for a whole day and night. I expected a misery equal to camping in the rain..no misery..no white knuckling.. Then again, I did cave to a craving of mints..an exchange of variables

Without Reluctance

A cabdriver informed me that he has said to past girlfriends, " GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE", and the women would always return to him without reluctance. I felt sad for the women.

Growing Hope

Reading a novel entitled,The End of Everything, has triggered me to think of the times that I had to declare "the ending of everything"...a selling of a house, the departure of a friend or family member, a school transfer.. When I am feeling grey about my future, I turn to my "ending of everything" periods and remember that the change was a planting of a bulb of blossoming. The reflection grows hope.

Hating is a Waste!

A man and I were getting to know each other. He informed me that he hated his voice. I thought hating anything about myself is a waste of time. SIDENOTE: MY VOICE IS INTOXICATING!

A Window to Alone Time

The qualities of my parents are starting to become my own. My father and I emotionally demand specificly planned alone time on sundays..only a recent need for me.. I,now, copy my mother's need to be positioned near a window...an ability to look out was crucial to her..I opt to look out Starbucks' windows whenever I can..

"Mexican Barbie"

A large hispanic woman entered "my market" costumed in a t-shirt branded with "MEXICAN BARBIE" ..Ins't believing the first step to manifesting?

Different Days, Different Reasons

I may not be lonely for him anymore. Different days could bring a hundred different reasons to pick up the phone to call him...I realized, today, reasons have stopped being part of my self dialogue.

Points Deducted

A relative expressed remorse over past behavior he directed towards me. My emotions were enveloped with feelings of a break-through..then I remembered he had dementia and points would probadly be deducted in the game of life.

Stopping Mid-Answer

My giving of advice was a key purpose of a relationship. He is requesting less advice and I am using it as an opportunity to train myself to listen and react with a neutral attitude. I am stopping myself mid-answer to change my answer.

New measurements

A friend measured my body parts for proof in their size of reduction. The change in my measurements also gave me a new measure of confidence in my social decision making skills because over-eating was a sympton of being socially "ill at ease".

Raining Joy

Cards from key people in my life are tucked in a glass cabinet. The cards became like wallpaper during my daily experience. Feeling sad, I plucked and reread the different ways I had improved friend's lives. there is no expiration date on written positive thoughts..before I reread the last card a dark emotional cloud was lifted and joy began to rain...

Individual Personal Power

I informed a friend that he could always call on me to remind him of his individual personal power. Empowering the people in our lives empowers us.

Emotional To-Do List

Last night, I dreamt that I was interupting and talking over people's words. So I,now, have to work on my emotional to-do list while both asleep and awake?

Stripped

Next week brings the two events of a blind-date and performing stand up..sometimes one in the same..if you catch my drift..I am stripped of all fear. Being free of fear flashed me with the wonder of what we miss out on when fear stops us.

"Barely Hanging On"

Talking to a friend imprinted me with an invaluable view. She stated that most people are barely hanging on, which does not leave them much more to reach out to friends or participate in general social interaction.

Good Question

A new aquaintance started the conversation with the question: " what do you like about yourself"..I love that question

Calming Words

I just got a new attitude. It would bother me when negative coments would bother me. A person in a public driven job informed me that there are days when he has the grace to move on and other days take longer. Hearing his words were calming.

Valued Team Members

Most of my history with a part-time position has been a practice of insular work habits. I entered the call center with limited greetings and did not digest my co-workers names or words. My engagement was with my supervisors regarding asignments and productivity. The callcenter is facing a series of deadlines. The center's staff complains and cancels. Meeting deadlines are a struggle..I am letting the negative attitudes of other workers affect me and I hate it about myself..I need to work on it ...I want to be on a team where everyone values their participation in completing a project.

Prom Date

I had two prom dates. I spent the evening hydrated and stretched.

Emotional Petals

I greeted a man sitting next to me at "my Starbucks", greeting turned into teasing. We exchanged notes of laughter. He thanked me for starting the conversation and giving him an opportunity to laugh. The power of kindness can change a self view which can change a life view. There have been days when it was hard to leave my apartment and took most of my might to raise my hand to wave to people. The consistant kindness of barristas and the cashiers at "my market" unfolded my emotional petals. Never underestimate the power of the effect of your words ..

Old School It

I reported to an old friend about having an onset of social anxiety. I explained to her about having moments of raw behavior ...subtle human movement..subliminal emotional expressions.. all factors in an equation that totals a display of appearing to not feel deserving.. I pleaded, "how can I change behavior that I do not know I am exhibiting"? She said select empowering affirmations and place them on your mirror..at the end of the day..state what you did well that day...think of a word or affirmation to tell yourself when social anxiety starts to spring.. Getting off the phone, I thought, right, I will have to "old school it"

A Love to Grieve?

Whenever I heard of a wife becoming a widow,during the first of my life, I would be struck dumb by the grief of it all. I mean,particularly, if the wife liked her spouse. Now I have moments of grief wondering if I will have a love to grieve?

Alone Beauty

I am starting to notice the beauty of spending time a lone is that I am less distracted by people's coments to me about me. The quiet time enables me to train myself to take a moment and listen and execute my instincts.