..Want Never to Use..

I have wanted to marry a man ..maintain a marriage ..and posses a job in a creative field on the east coast for all of my life..

A grand opportunity to live and work on the east coast has been given to me..I jumped at it..I was convinced I would ache for the rest of my life if I did not take it..

My last shift of employment with a Phoenix based firm was today.  The employees were informed
of my departure. I spent part of my last shift telling people I would return to work at the firm in Phoenix..a city that feels alien to me..

Was this a form of self protection..I wanted to feel I would have a place to return..a safety net I want
never to use