Messiness

During the first year after my mother's death, I showed my most messy self to a male friend.  We are now in infrequent contact. 

A goldfish of a thought will swim in my emotional waterway. A want to have a meal and show my less messy side and my  more peaceful side....then I was thinking I am almost convinced his personality draws out my messy side...So I may never  have such a desired moment with him