Black and in his Twenties

I spend time with a black man in his twenties.   When I describe our convos with my closest friend ... She expresses surprise with  what a sharp minded contributor he is ... I am not

A Final Night

More then once in my life, I have talked to people, close to me, a final time and did not know it was going to be a final time.

There is a man that is worthy of being faded out of my life.   I dig the guy yet feel he may not be the best fit for me.

I want to see him one last time and soak up the moments ....be less casual and resistant ...be more open to what is suggested...

The thought plagues me, am I fooling myself and will it only wet more of my appetite for him

Social Choice

I have been  negotiating with the Universe to spread my dating  wings.   I got a text from a man from my past.   It felt out of the blue....perhaps it is reinforcement of the power of intention...

We talked and laughed on the phone. Our emotional atmosphere had the comfort of sharing a  history...

Talking him reminded me of  social choice...a choice we all have and share....

Most Natural Selves

I have been  seeing a man for over a  month.    He will refer to me as hot when I am at my most authentic

I do not view this as random or accidental timing ....I think we are the most appealing when we are being our most natural selves....

Pancakes

When my boyfriend and I engage in hanky panky....  he will place  his hands on my milk makers....it feels like he is trying to flatten them into pancakes which always makes me wonder if he is craving pancakes....everything, for me, has a connection with food....

The question always rumbles around in my head, "maybe we should pause our grand slam and run to Dennys for their grand slam"

ME

When I went to the store between work and returning to my ghetto pad...I would text, a specific gent,

to seek any food requests.  

I was looking for a person to consider when I already have one...ME

Peaceful Performance

I performed on stage.  I did not elicit guffaws yet was liked by the crowd.   The key reaction was that I was relaxed.

People are attracted and calmed by people that appear that appear to be comfortable in their skin....at peace...

Her Protocol

I know a straight couple.  I asked the man, on a whim, to join me, with friends, out on the town.

The woman became quite angry.  Her protocol was that I should have asked her prior to asking him.

Her protocol varies from mine...which is to talk directly to the person and if a person is in a relationship then it up to that person to discuss it with the partner...

Am I only one that thinks this way...?

A boy's observation

I spent the day with a young boy.... at the end of the day, he asked me: "why do always think everything is your fault"?

I was struck a little dumb by his question and his observing of  my day long behavior

Emotional Bill

I have been wrestling to remove a certain group of people from my life. When describing the situation to another person, he worded my thoughts perfectly

His response was: it seems like an optional emotional bill  for you

Sharing a Bed

A man and I spent a Sunday afternoon discussing how we wanted our relationship to be....that night we shared a bed....

He was on the computer and I wanted to be taken by sleep. I was learning that you  
can share a bed and still be consumed with loneliness

Raw Reaction Emerged

I have more surprise then understanding of my reaction to last night's occurrence...

A man and I have been seeing other...including a physical relationship....I thought I felt worthy of the companionship.... I feel equal in value, in the relationship, when with or without him...

Then I had this reaction happened and the self loathing that I thought I had purged emerged....



A woman enquired if I was with this particular man....even though  I was ...My raw reaction was shock that a person would ever think a man would be with me... " Like that would ever happen"

"A man being attracted to me"

CVS

I dropped a liquid substance in an  aisle of CVS.   I asked the manager what the policy was on spilled unpaid for products....He said, "we,just, clean  it up"

Their store policy appears to be a good life policy...clean it up and move on....

Dreamer

I was talking to an eight year old boy about naps.   He said, " I love sleeping because then I dream all sorts of good things"....

I wish, for him,  to learn to dream when he is awake....

Love Action

Some people love through their actions not their words

"Minute Man"

I can be ditzy or disconnected.   I was sharing private personal time with a man.   He announced he was "no minute man"

I thought what does   Massachusetts Civil War Soldiers have to do with his sexual stamina

He was also in Her Bed

I was seeing a man.  I found out he was having sex with a mutual acquaintance while we were together.

The girl told me without knowing I was seeing him when they were engaging in a biblical relationship.

I stopped myself from asking her certain questions,  did he say this to you when he was in your bed, because that specific knowledge would only distract me and not  advance me.

True Blubbering

I have been contributing goods to a displaced family....I am drawn to the kids...I bring them books, clothes and personal products... The first time I saw the kids ...I witnessed a blankness, in their eyes,  that I had never seen before....

I was never a person that could cry...I envied the purging of emotion of  people that cry...from the point of departure of their living quarters to the point of arrival of my living quarters ..I cry hysterically ...it is true blubbering...

Being drawn can be draining ...

Stolen Threads

Life can be so strange.  I had reached a breaking point...coming to the end of my wearable wardrobe ..

So I dragged my two large bags of  dirty threads  to the  laundromat .  While the clothes were in the dryer, I stepped out for  a short period of time... something I have never done.. when I returned, the clothes were gone.. I was robbed  of  my  summer wardrobe..

The same week this happened, I was organizing a clothing drive for a family I adopted....

Chloroform

I have started to keep company with a man.   He will suggest different places to visit...he always uses the same word grouping...

"With your permission, I would like to take you to the Irish Cultural Center"

When he uses this preamble to his proposed dates....I always have a vision of being applied with
Chloroform and dragged to different cultural events.

Like Father, Like Boyfriend

When I crush on a man, I ask myself two questions. The questions are how is he like my father and am I repeating a pattern...

I am keeping company with a man that appears nothing like my father until tonight.
I witnessed a man mistreat his daughter..... I reported the incident to the dad ... and the dad did nothing .... It informed me how he was like my father...., hanging out with men that disrespected

his offspring .....

Seeking Defination

I have started to associate with a man.  while  we talk, he will stop the convo by asking his phone for the definition of  my randomly submitted words.....

It is interesting to discover which words I am using incorrectly ...