leading actor

Life is more like a movie then we realize, are you the lead in your own life? Being more of a writer of my dialogue and a director of behavior that will put me in scenes of my life dream has put me
closer to stepping into starring position.

Days are sprinkled with opportunities to bring us on point for
for our dreams, perhaps the journey will lead to a bigger dream then
planned.

death

Death can be one of the best things for our image. The minute my mother died, all negative milestones were erased from memory and an only positive emotional timeline remains in my heart and head.Exercising the golden rule, upon my death, I would like my negative behavior to be pruned from my image.

life tool

Asking myself if what I desire is a need or a want has been a most effective life
tool. The question has weeded out spending, poor food selection and certain people.

I am floored to report the positive results of this self-question because I use to find instant gratification to slow and was confident that a premature ejaculator would be my perfect lover.

What simple questions have been effective for you?

sexual encounter

The sexual encounter became touch and go when a fluffer had to be recruited.I concluded the evening glowing because while he was pleasuring me, the placement
of my extra set of apartment keys came to me.

wrong words

The nucleus of my mortification fertilized by my failure on stage
was that I was not using my intended routines. crude words would splat on the room's atmosphere like a fly on a windshield. Crude
was a direct contradiction to my desired image of being clever and witty.

Clever,smart segments were born from my brain and then I do not know why.. perhaps because of nervousness.. forceful wording would
replace my planned subtle words.

I was scared. the more time I spent on stage, nervousness is supposed to lessen. I was afraid I would not be able to fail on my own terms because the words being carried by the mic did not truly represent me. To add to the horror, I am embarrassed that certain
friends viewed it and that they will not see my improved version.
Well I guess that is the way the cookie crumbles, hopefully they will return to be in the audience.

cockiness

standing in a dark corner,rehearsing my lines while flirting with the possibility of a laughter graveyard looming in my future. A girl sprung from the darkness to inform me that she was also performing and that I did not need to rehearse my lines. She bombed and I did not. Laughter can be elusive and I do not want my poor performances to be a reason for humiliation. Poor performances are watering my blossoming attitude of gratitude for the approving audiences and I do not want to ever take the approval of an audience for granted.

coin purse

The weight of my coin purse stuns me, the heaviness creeps up on me. feeling as though only my debit card emerges from my wallet is at the root of my befuddlement.