The moment I step off stage, my memory becomes as vacant as a parcel of unused farmland. Gratefulness washes over me. The lack of memory enables a fresh start with each handling of the mic. Certain words will pop into my head with the distance of time. Story lines begin to develop like film in solution, fuzzy and dull to sharper and embarrassing. I begin to call audience members with words that
transmit into my cognitive being. My friends affirm my specific
word pictures. Grappling for my lighter, I plead "did anyone laugh"? the witness answers with " you got a chuckle" Geeze Louise!
why can't I go back to being grateful and vacant?
Saturday, February 12, 2011
lighting in the bottle
Doing something, we have all done hundreds of times, going to the movies with a friend. Well, during this particular social ritual, my friend hated how I reacted to his story which resulted in dueling silences.
I do not know why, the indoctrination of marlo thomas's recording "Free to be You and Me" or fearing a buttery chemical
explosion, I turned to him and said "I accept you". He responded
with a biting "lucky me". The shock of the response sprung tears from my eyes.
Surrounded by rows of cinema seats, words sprung from my mouth just as the tears sprung from my eyes. "True acceptance is like lightning in a bottle, it is not a casual thing". He patted my arm and said "I know, and I accept you too". The theater lights darkened and flick's title displayed on the screen. He whispered in my ear "how long does this acceptance thing last? because I have a
6am work-out".
I do not know why, the indoctrination of marlo thomas's recording "Free to be You and Me" or fearing a buttery chemical
explosion, I turned to him and said "I accept you". He responded
with a biting "lucky me". The shock of the response sprung tears from my eyes.
Surrounded by rows of cinema seats, words sprung from my mouth just as the tears sprung from my eyes. "True acceptance is like lightning in a bottle, it is not a casual thing". He patted my arm and said "I know, and I accept you too". The theater lights darkened and flick's title displayed on the screen. He whispered in my ear "how long does this acceptance thing last? because I have a
6am work-out".
charming
I greeted the open mic MC in the lobby, after my performance, with " Was it a disaster"? He turned to me and said " your charm
saved it". Did he just say I was charming? Gee Whiz!
saved it". Did he just say I was charming? Gee Whiz!
Saturday, February 5, 2011
bounderies
I informed my friend that I was reassigning my concentration from his project to my project and he accepted my declaration. So boundaries start with a statement? huh? Boundaries become simpler to maintain when you surround yourself with people that respect your words. A discovery that was life changing! (for me)
arbitrary
Being told I was beautiful and ugly at the same party perfectly taught me how arbitrary words can be. Words are frequently more
about the speaker then the listener.
The experience refined my focus on the words of my inner voice because the less arbitrary my inner-words become, the more the outer-words will become white noise.
about the speaker then the listener.
The experience refined my focus on the words of my inner voice because the less arbitrary my inner-words become, the more the outer-words will become white noise.
Monday, January 31, 2011
distraction
Distraction represents, to me, a layer cake of fear. Resulting in endeavors to limit exposure to certain behaviors or information. Thoughts against me impedes my progress and I can not afford to have my behavior blocked. Can you?
Self-focus may appear to be selfish. Selfishness is not only not
a bad behavior it is required to both chart and navigate your life's
course. We must put ourselves first because we are the one constant
in our lives. I hate to say it, friends and family are variables because their placement in our lives is not guaranteed.
The mantra,the future is now, is directing my life and propelling me to do daily activities with an eye to the future. Deciding the type of the future you desire can start with a list.
What is on your list? I would not only find it fascinating, it will probably give me a few ideas for charting my future. I wish you love and success with your list.
Self-focus may appear to be selfish. Selfishness is not only not
a bad behavior it is required to both chart and navigate your life's
course. We must put ourselves first because we are the one constant
in our lives. I hate to say it, friends and family are variables because their placement in our lives is not guaranteed.
The mantra,the future is now, is directing my life and propelling me to do daily activities with an eye to the future. Deciding the type of the future you desire can start with a list.
What is on your list? I would not only find it fascinating, it will probably give me a few ideas for charting my future. I wish you love and success with your list.
religion
I have a blind-date with a Muslim. I am having a burka bedazzled
as I write this, keep your fingers crossed. Religion was a hot topic during my mother's final days on earth.
Nurses would say good-bye to my mum, with each greeting, I received a religious education. A particular conversation left an
indelible mark. She informed me that if my mother accepts Jesus
Christ as her lord and savior, my mum was in a coma, my mother would
go straight to heaven. There is nothing like a direct flight, I did
not realize Jesus was a travel agent.
I envy the refuge of an unwavering belief system. Theories guide
my behavior. Ultimately I am just not sure, my overriding thought is that my inconsistent emotional investment might be what is keeping me from the peace of the refuge.
as I write this, keep your fingers crossed. Religion was a hot topic during my mother's final days on earth.
Nurses would say good-bye to my mum, with each greeting, I received a religious education. A particular conversation left an
indelible mark. She informed me that if my mother accepts Jesus
Christ as her lord and savior, my mum was in a coma, my mother would
go straight to heaven. There is nothing like a direct flight, I did
not realize Jesus was a travel agent.
I envy the refuge of an unwavering belief system. Theories guide
my behavior. Ultimately I am just not sure, my overriding thought is that my inconsistent emotional investment might be what is keeping me from the peace of the refuge.
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