Distraction represents, to me, a layer cake of fear. Resulting in endeavors to limit exposure to certain behaviors or information. Thoughts against me impedes my progress and I can not afford to have my behavior blocked. Can you?
Self-focus may appear to be selfish. Selfishness is not only not
a bad behavior it is required to both chart and navigate your life's
course. We must put ourselves first because we are the one constant
in our lives. I hate to say it, friends and family are variables because their placement in our lives is not guaranteed.
The mantra,the future is now, is directing my life and propelling me to do daily activities with an eye to the future. Deciding the type of the future you desire can start with a list.
What is on your list? I would not only find it fascinating, it will probably give me a few ideas for charting my future. I wish you love and success with your list.
Monday, January 31, 2011
religion
I have a blind-date with a Muslim. I am having a burka bedazzled
as I write this, keep your fingers crossed. Religion was a hot topic during my mother's final days on earth.
Nurses would say good-bye to my mum, with each greeting, I received a religious education. A particular conversation left an
indelible mark. She informed me that if my mother accepts Jesus
Christ as her lord and savior, my mum was in a coma, my mother would
go straight to heaven. There is nothing like a direct flight, I did
not realize Jesus was a travel agent.
I envy the refuge of an unwavering belief system. Theories guide
my behavior. Ultimately I am just not sure, my overriding thought is that my inconsistent emotional investment might be what is keeping me from the peace of the refuge.
as I write this, keep your fingers crossed. Religion was a hot topic during my mother's final days on earth.
Nurses would say good-bye to my mum, with each greeting, I received a religious education. A particular conversation left an
indelible mark. She informed me that if my mother accepts Jesus
Christ as her lord and savior, my mum was in a coma, my mother would
go straight to heaven. There is nothing like a direct flight, I did
not realize Jesus was a travel agent.
I envy the refuge of an unwavering belief system. Theories guide
my behavior. Ultimately I am just not sure, my overriding thought is that my inconsistent emotional investment might be what is keeping me from the peace of the refuge.
embarrassing
But I love him is a frequently uttered defense of a specific relationship in my life. Having a self-defining relationship is horrible, crazy and embarrassing. A perpetual teeter-totter between
my intellect and emotions shape my time. I know, ridiculous right?
The worst parts are the more I talk to him the more I want to talk to him and during quiet periods, I want confirmation that his approval of me is in tact. Feeling that I am okay because my interaction with him went okay is not a route to true self worth.
Participating in such a relationship renders a kaleidoscope of emotions. I feel sad for myself because the focus on him is taking
focus away from myself and really who is the more important person in this equation, me right? or if you have such a relationship in your life, you right? Concern is a color in my viewfinder of life
because I feel I am performing a disservice to my other friends by
singling out a particular friend, however subliminal. You know what this is about right? the less secure relationship dominates in the social circle, mine anyway. It really is crazy and I have to change it.. I wonder if he will call me tonight.
my intellect and emotions shape my time. I know, ridiculous right?
The worst parts are the more I talk to him the more I want to talk to him and during quiet periods, I want confirmation that his approval of me is in tact. Feeling that I am okay because my interaction with him went okay is not a route to true self worth.
Participating in such a relationship renders a kaleidoscope of emotions. I feel sad for myself because the focus on him is taking
focus away from myself and really who is the more important person in this equation, me right? or if you have such a relationship in your life, you right? Concern is a color in my viewfinder of life
because I feel I am performing a disservice to my other friends by
singling out a particular friend, however subliminal. You know what this is about right? the less secure relationship dominates in the social circle, mine anyway. It really is crazy and I have to change it.. I wonder if he will call me tonight.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
advice
My stand-up comedy is in the gestation period and my friends are expressing their
belief in me by lathering me with advice.Mind you these are people who have never been on stage and are afraid to enter a party a lone.
The advice range from the physical to the verbal. Physical directions: move your arms, stand completely still, do not touch the mic, roll your eyes, loosen up, limit your facial expressions, would eject from my comedy guides like tennis balls from a ball machine. Verbal directions are: blurt out curse words, do not curse,just talk
unrehearsed, compare vegans and meat-eaters in a bit, would leave me a little tongue-
tied.
Invariably, my friends complete each strategy session advising me to be myself.
belief in me by lathering me with advice.Mind you these are people who have never been on stage and are afraid to enter a party a lone.
The advice range from the physical to the verbal. Physical directions: move your arms, stand completely still, do not touch the mic, roll your eyes, loosen up, limit your facial expressions, would eject from my comedy guides like tennis balls from a ball machine. Verbal directions are: blurt out curse words, do not curse,just talk
unrehearsed, compare vegans and meat-eaters in a bit, would leave me a little tongue-
tied.
Invariably, my friends complete each strategy session advising me to be myself.
my evening with alan arkin
A nearly chance encounter with an Oscar winner proved to be a substantial brick in a walkway to a better life. Word came over the computer monitor that Alan Arkin was participating in a talk at the phoenix art museum. I flew on wings of desire and hands empty of a ticket,the marriage of confidence and motivation planted my feet securely in line for the museum's "will call". Feeling like a young sprite among the
older museum members, I emerged victorious with a singular ticket in my digits. Sitting in a sea of bespectacled Jews, I decided to ask the underrated actor a question. The Jews are my chosen people and quiet Jews leave me limp with absorption.
Shortly after stabbing the air with my arm, the host selected me and I informed
Alan Arkin that I am enraptured by his use of silence in films. The question began
a sweet dialogue, he said it was the nicest compliment he had ever received and I responded that I was glad I said it. (then) The auditorium erupted in laughter, not clear why .. but I digress
Do not ever believe that your words do not have power. Preventing your true expression is preventing the cultivation of your true self. Think about it!?
older museum members, I emerged victorious with a singular ticket in my digits. Sitting in a sea of bespectacled Jews, I decided to ask the underrated actor a question. The Jews are my chosen people and quiet Jews leave me limp with absorption.
Shortly after stabbing the air with my arm, the host selected me and I informed
Alan Arkin that I am enraptured by his use of silence in films. The question began
a sweet dialogue, he said it was the nicest compliment he had ever received and I responded that I was glad I said it. (then) The auditorium erupted in laughter, not clear why .. but I digress
Do not ever believe that your words do not have power. Preventing your true expression is preventing the cultivation of your true self. Think about it!?
Friday, January 28, 2011
starbucks
I am sitting in a Starbucks and grooving to their selected soundtrack. I am a Johnny come lately to experiencing the benefits
of the corporate kaffeeklatch. Wanting a refuge, I was eager to learn the protocol. Questions percolated as quickly as a "viva brew", is a subway-chain cup contraband? is talking on a mobile phone above a certain level blatantly disrespecting my fellow members of the Starbucks community.
Participating in the community recharges my creative spirit and my sense of optimism about our larger community. I feel completely at peace leaving my work product to engage in outdoor conversations and I marvel when observing conversations as diverse as the coffee selections. The respectful communication among the employees and the respect of individual spaces among shared space is completely refreshing in today's society. A dear friend teases me that a Starbucks Carroll is my new office, an office space that contains a twin atmosphere of acceptance? How do I get so lucky?
of the corporate kaffeeklatch. Wanting a refuge, I was eager to learn the protocol. Questions percolated as quickly as a "viva brew", is a subway-chain cup contraband? is talking on a mobile phone above a certain level blatantly disrespecting my fellow members of the Starbucks community.
Participating in the community recharges my creative spirit and my sense of optimism about our larger community. I feel completely at peace leaving my work product to engage in outdoor conversations and I marvel when observing conversations as diverse as the coffee selections. The respectful communication among the employees and the respect of individual spaces among shared space is completely refreshing in today's society. A dear friend teases me that a Starbucks Carroll is my new office, an office space that contains a twin atmosphere of acceptance? How do I get so lucky?
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
My immediate thought when receiving a birth announcement was that it could be an affirmation of being confirmed as her connection on linked in. I alternate my obsessions between facebook and linkedin.
A baby obsession came fast and furious out the birth canal of face book when a grade school friend treated my face book friend request with a deaf keyboard. I kept telling myself to not jump to conclusions and perhaps he was to busy to be on face book, then I would see our mutual friend list grow and I believe with almost certainty that the members of the shared list did not play with him on the monkey bars or ride the merry go round together. Conversely
I spent Friday nights, at his parents house, listening to Stevie nicks and discussing how I wanted to raise our kids Jewish.
Left with no choice, I was driven to call one of his best friends. Questioning the friend " why is Theo treating me like Eva Braun"? his response was that I should let it go.
MMMM! Just what should I be letting go? What more is he not telling me?
A baby obsession came fast and furious out the birth canal of face book when a grade school friend treated my face book friend request with a deaf keyboard. I kept telling myself to not jump to conclusions and perhaps he was to busy to be on face book, then I would see our mutual friend list grow and I believe with almost certainty that the members of the shared list did not play with him on the monkey bars or ride the merry go round together. Conversely
I spent Friday nights, at his parents house, listening to Stevie nicks and discussing how I wanted to raise our kids Jewish.
Left with no choice, I was driven to call one of his best friends. Questioning the friend " why is Theo treating me like Eva Braun"? his response was that I should let it go.
MMMM! Just what should I be letting go? What more is he not telling me?
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