self protection

Even when I was doing it, I could not believe I was doing it. I put myself down to an acquaintance,complete negative self-exposure, for an introduction to a joke. I believed more in the joke then in self-protection.

higher grade of carpetting

A former room-mate and consistent blog cheerleader emailed how proud she was of me for living my dreams...While most of me was spirit electric..a tiny part of me interrupted my glee by asking if I was living my dreams wouldn't I have a higher grade of carpeting?

more nos then yeses

I was reflecting with a friend the evolution in my relationship with food. Taking the position that a complete eviction of specific sugar agents could be unrealistic. Greeting my desired forms of sugars with more nos then yeses is my preferred aproach

ditsy/brightness

I have a condition that I have named as ditsy/brightness. I can be very sharp and perceptive..and then a comment will slip out of my mouth..

When people complement my spec frames..I respond with complete seriousness ..yes,thanks,
the glasses are for my eyes..yet I never doubt my brightness

emotional ambrosia

Thinking it was just another night coming to a close at Starbucks..standing at the counter, saying good-bye..my good bye was greeted by a barrista asking if I wanted to know what the other associates say about me..I was like "aw yeah! this is emotional ambrosia"

She threw me the curve ball of asking me what I thought the associates were saying about me. I spitted out descriptions like a pez dispenser spits out candy..."cold,withdrawn,needs an eyebrow waxing, moves slowly"
She looked at me like
I just failed a self esteem test miserably..no,
the associates wonder if you are a performance artist..

oh well,that is a different story

M&Ms

Craving in to a desire for M&Ms in the wee hours of the night. Presenting the cashier, in colors of shame and relief, a king size bag of plain M&Ms. She would consistently inform me that two smaller bags of M&Ms are cheaper while giving me the same amount. I could not help think..I am in a seven/eleven at two am..is poor budgeting really my biggest problem?

Emotional Twins

I have reunited with a male friend that is the emotional twin to a male relative. They had vastly different childhoods,yet, they are united in their morning routines,driving styles, and their emphasis on nutrition. My friend has said nearly the same words to me as my relative has said to me
..one thing he has said to me

that my relative has not said...my friend says he is proud of me..and when he does

I feel a healing